Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
