I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
