Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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