hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We are two peas in an std pod
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
