wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I understand Curling. That high.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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