I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize