you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
