mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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