so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
