You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
