I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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