Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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