are you still at the devil's house?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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