it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize