I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
