Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
