I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
