He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
