omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
being pregnant is like rehab
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize