Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Text me some of your sweat
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
