and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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