I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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