Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
