Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
