He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize