i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
How's work?
Spinning.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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