I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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