you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
