im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
