i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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