I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
