yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
