Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
