It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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