community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
