I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
