glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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