i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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