Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
