She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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