the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
