Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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