My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
