Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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