im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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