no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
