just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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