why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
