did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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