swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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