I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
