i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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