New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
