perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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