and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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