I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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