either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
