Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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