my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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