forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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