1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
