I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
