I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
