Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
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