Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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