Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Randomize
