it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
